WELCOME to my WEBSITE -
Well - thats something i NEVER thought i would hear myself ... TYPE !!
Im Abby - 20 Years ago I was quiet and not very social, demure even ... Got a Boyfriend / Later to be my husband / had two FABULOUS KIDS - was very obliging !
Then I got ill -
and now - WOW - Im a different person entirely !
My weight Ballooned ( Even though i have never been 'small' !! )
I started getting the most IMMENSE headaches, and so very very tired, and Irritable !
( I know - this one is so hard to believe ! )
I would drop to the floor and not be able to move - totally aware of what was happening, just not be able to do a thing about it.
My whole personality changed - One minute i was the HULK ... then I was me ... then i was suicidal .. All very very scary - until you knew what was the matter - and thank god ( ohh - im not spiritual at all - but - it feels right to say it !! Contradiction I know ! ) I had a FABULOUS GP - One day i went in there with my Husband- ( Who at the time was an Absolute Rock ) told her all my symptoms - and immediately - she said - You have Cushings - But - It is almost if not impossible to diagnose - and even more difficult to treat ... She - at the time was working at the Kent and Canterbury Hospital with the Endocrynological Team - Who - DEAL WITH CUSHINGS !!
So - from there on in - she sent me - What seems like monthly - for MRI's - with and without Contrast on my Pituitary Gland - A small Gland in the brain that controls - well - basically its like petrol for your car - it runs everything !!
About 10 years in - and i got a call - Myself and the Hubby went in, sat down - and she said -
"Mrs Barry - YOU HAVE A BRAIN TUMOUR" -
IT HAS SHOWED UP AT LAST !!-
Well - i must be the ONLY person to ever walk out of a doctors surgery after being given THAT NEWS SMILING !!!
I was NOT mad !!!
Even I was doubting myself !! - lol !!
I knew i wasnt eating to put on weight -
I knew I wasnt shouting at people because i was a nasty person
I knew i was not totally useless and gave up easily for no reason - there was always a reason
I knew I wasnt lazy but just UNBELIEVEABLE tired - ALL THE TIME
I knew I .............. OH THE LIST IS ENDLESS - SERIOUSLY - ITS ENDLESS !!
But - its good ...... Untill they said they would not treat it - because - " Your Cyclical - your tumour comes and goes "
- So - OK - Im stuck like this and can't change a thing -
BUT - INSTEAD OF BEING DOWNBEAT -
I TRY TO LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE -
AND KEEP SMILIN -
( Most of the time !! ( When im not Hulk - or Biatch from hell !! )
Then about 5 years ago they found the secon Tumour this time on the stalk of the Pit gland - still no op - and actually - i was asked if i wanted a Gastric band by my PITUITARY SPECIALIST !!!! - I had to inform him - that - If i had that i would probably die - because - although - yes - i am over 20 stone - actually i hardly eat - he looked shocked - so i had to go into details about how MY BODY has gone into starvation mode and literally everything it see's it stores - and - on top of this - as i can't exercise ( due to my body/ HEAD shutting down if i move ) I CANT DO A THING ABOUT IT .. he understood at the end of the appointment - and no - i didnt have him in a headlock ! I may have had a little shout though - once or twice !
OK OK - so - THEN they wanted to treat symptoms - and i have been on a concoction of various medicines !!
Never once being symptom free ......
BUT - About 7 months ago - about the same time i started seeing a Neuro Psychiatrist - Who put me on Sodium Valproate ( Which - Is used in clinical trials to treat CYCLICAL CUSHINGS !! - My sysmptoms have started to ease - HUGELY EASE - OK - Im not losing weight - and actually - i do seem hungrier - but - i am able to think and control my moods more - and im able to registar whats happening - IT'S BRILLIANT !!
but = THIS IS WHERE IT STARTS TO GET ODD
I have never been able to paint in my life !!! - Literally - at christmas - i didnt bother to play the games - Drawing related - because i was useless - no-body ever got mine right !! Mum tried to get me interested in Sugar Craft - but - omg i was rubbish and actually paid someone to make my 'masterpieces' for me for peoples birthdays !!
I literally was THAT BAD !!!
BUT NOW -
( http://brainblogger.com/2012/09/23/what-is-creativity-art-as-a-symptom-of-brain-disease/ )
WELL - Have a look at my Art - People seem to think its Unique and Quirky and Fun -
and If you enjoy it- and smile - then my work is done !